But every guy I’ve ever talked to about this agrees that:1) They wouldn’t have cared if it was just one or two more dates in the future – as long as they KNEW it was going to happen and they weren’t being toyed with.(Getting led on sucks.)2) They always felt a bit let down when it happens too soon.But both conventional wisdom and experience show that having sex too soon increases the likelihood of ruining a potential relationship.Yet if you've fallen into the sticky trap of sleeping with someone too soon, even knowing that it's not in your best interest, you may have: of you have the same understanding about the nature of your relationship.
I have confirmed from several of my female friends (and more-than-friends) that this is a fairly common strategy when it comes to “getting him” as a boyfriend.Today I’m pleased to offer a guest post by Duana C. Duana writes the blog Love Science: Research-Based Relationship Advice for Everyone.She’s a psych professor in Austin, TX and I’ve been a fan of her work for some time.The next night, I saw that he had logged back onto the dating website.”Ugh! In fact, guys are so hard-wired to avoid genetic oblivion through unwittingly rearing other men’s offspring, they’re biologically protected against it: Dopamine, a biochemical men must have in order to fall in love, drops if a woman has sex before he’s become really attached.(The evolutionary psychology argument continues that we women, who always know the baby is our genetic slam-dunk, don’t have to worry about men’s clear and present sexual availability; it’s meaningless to whether or not we cast our own genes, aka children.)In other words, most of men’s double standard isn’t even conscious. But in studies of these things, it turns out that how quickly a woman has sex with a guy is the single biggest predictor of whether she’ll cheat later on. Yet there is something Denise can say to Mike to ratchet things down.